Ski lift 1

I took the kids skiing for their Christmas present or snowboarding, their choice.  This is the first chair lift beginners go up after the bunny slope.  As we waited for my daughter I witnessed many pile ups off the lift.  They would stop the lift often and let people get untangled.  Start it again only to have it happen a few minutes later.  No wonder this lift takes forever.  I was thoroughly entertained and I think sometime this year I will sit on the bench and stay here taking pictures  for a few hours.  Then I will send them to my son to edit into some kind of movie.

So my daughter is due any minute and I get my camera out just knowing it's going to happen to her.  Sure enough, all four riders ended up on top of one another.  She wasn't sure if it was her fault or not but the picture shows it was not. She's in the black and blue.

Santa Him

Santa Me

  Me and my boyfriend out on a Santa crawl earlier this month.  It was not nearly as much fun as the Vegas one but it was all right. We hit one dance place and the rest of the time was Santa needs a drink.

Frost

We had a good frost a couple of weeks ago and I barely looked at the pictures this morning. I don't think we had a nice frost last year so this was new to me.

Frosty oak

I took lots of pictures of the frost on different plants but these two were my favorite.

St Flamingo Dancer is now open for business

Lydia does not have many marvellous things to write about in comparison with other countries, except for the gold dust that is carried down from Mount Tmolus.

- Herodotus, The History, 1.93

http://www.fleur-de-coin.com/articles/oldestcoin.asp

As I recline, hopefully recuperating,  my mind has turned to indulgences, and my selling therein of. For those of you late to St Flamingo Dancer flock, my New Year’s intention is to bestow upon myself sainthood. I am so wonderful, already a goddess,  that it is a natural extension of my fabulosity.

 I am also in it for the money.  I shall sell indulgences. Not the kind of indulgence that gets you a good after life, or anything of that nature, for that side of the market is already taken. No, I shall sell indulgences that perpetuates happiness in this world, and revenge upon those who wrong against my “clients”.

I thought about what currency I should use, and thought about the Electrum Stater Of Miletos or the tripodes", "axes" or "skewers"  of the pre-Numismatic Age, but eventually I arrived at the conclusion that Herodotus, sometimes, was right and so I shall use gold dust as my currency of exchange.

So I am thinking of setting the base rate of 14 grams of gold dust per smiting of employers, mothers in law and generally anyone who gets in your way in the supermarket. I set a lower price for smiting as I gain a certain large degree of pleasure from it myself!

28 grams of gold dust for the general sending of plagues and boils upon the person who annoys from the neighboring work cubicle, former university friends who now have 1. better jobs, 2. more money, 3. beautiful partners, or 4. has had cosmetic surgery though pretends otherwise.

32 grams will get you traffic free highways on the commute to work, no waiting in line for doctors, at banks, government departments, or checkouts, and wait, there’s more - no grey hair. In the case of the gentleman, you will be granted hair that remains on your head and never on your ears, but it may be grey. 32 grams of gold dust only goes so far!

The big stuff, a gold bar, will get you three wishes, as long as you remember your place and don’t expect to rise above me, as my fabulosity will not be undone!

Other indulgences upon request. Price non negotiable, no guarantees or warranties. Non returnable.   Responsibility and risk upon the requester.

An indulgence, in Catholic Theology, is the full or partial remission of temporal punishment due for sins which have already been forgiven. The indulgence is granted by the church after the sinner has confessed and received absolution. The belief is that indulgences draw on the Treasure House of Merit accumulated by Jesus' sacrifice and the virtues and penances of the saints. They are granted for specific good works and prayers.

Indulgences replaced the severe penances of the early Church. More exactly, they replaced the shortening of those penances that was allowed at the intercession of those imprisoned and those awaiting martyrdom for the faith.

Abuses in granting indulgences were a major point of contention when Martin Luther initiated the Protestant Reformation (1517).

Definitions of colonoscopy on the Web:

• visual examination of the colon (with a colonoscope) from the cecum to the rectum; requires sedation
  wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

• colonoscope - an elongated fiberoptic endoscope for examining the entire colon from cecum to rectum
  wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

• colonoscope - a flexible fibreoptic endoscope used to examine the colon and obtain tissue samples
  en.wiktionary.org/wiki/colonoscope

• Examination of the entire colon with an optic fiber tube inserted through the anus and rectum.
  aspirus.org/aboutAspirus/index.cfm

• a test that uses a long, flexible tube with a light and camera lens at the end (colonoscope) to examine inside the large intestine.
  www.childrenscentralcal.org/HealthE/P03012/Pages/P03011.aspx

• A procedure in which a long flexible viewing tube (a colonoscope) is threaded up through the rectum for the purpose of inspecting the entire colon and rectum and, if there is an abnormality, taking a biopsy of it or removing it. ...
  www.medicinenet.com/virtual_colonoscopy/glossary.htm

• Examination of the interior of the colon using a flexible viewing instrument.
  www.everydayhealth.com/gerd/understanding/glossary.aspx

• a diagnostic procedure in which a flexible tube with a light source in inserted into the colon (large intestine or large bowel) through the anus to view all sections of the colon for abnormalities.
  www.womenshealthzone.net/glossary/c/

• colonoscope - A thin, lighted tube used to examine the inside of the colon.
  www.pbs.org/secondopinion/episodes/coloncancer/medicalglossary/story283.html

• colonoscope - The long flexible lighted instrument used for performing Colonoscopy.
  www.ostomy.evansville.net/terms.htm

• colonoscope - Flexible, elongated tube that can be inserted through the anus allowing the inside of the colon to be seen.
  www.hollister.com/anz/ostomy/resource/glossary.html

• (col-un-AH-skuh-pee) examination of the colon with a long, flexible, lighted tube called a colonoscope. The doctor can look for polyps during the exam and even remove them using a wire loop passed through the colonoscope.
  www.mesothelioma-line.com/articles/glossary/

• An examination of the large intestine utilizing a long lighted fiberoptic or video scope.
  www.ostomy.evansville.net/terms.htm

• Visualization of the lining of the anus, rectum and colon through a rigid proctosigmoidoscope or a flexible fiber optic endoscope (types of viewing tubes). This procedure allows diagnosis of tumors and inflammatory diseases.
  www.abbottdiagnostics.com/Glossary/index.cfm

• Procedure that allows inspection and tissue sampling of the rectum and large intestine by inserting a flexible tube with an attached camera through the rectum.
  www.barrx.com/Patients_and_Families/index.cfm/55

HAPPY NEW YEAR - I think not! I was gong to say that I am really pissed off, but under the circumstances that might not be qute the right descripton!

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,26532514-952,00.html

Dumbest criminals caught out

THEY may have broken the law but these offenders could never be called criminal masterminds.

June 11

A police officer noticed a vehicle following him while he drove around Clermont, 280km southwest of Mackay, about 11.45pm. The car followed the police vehicle into the police station's yard and the driver got out to discuss a relationship problem. The man appeared drunk and when tested blew a blood-alcohol reading of 0.26. The 35-year-old man was charged with drink-driving, fined $1800 and disqualified from driving for 16 months.

June 19

A teenager was seen leaving the Harvey Norman store at Warwick, 80km south of Toowoomba, with two video games he had not paid for. Police went to the store to speak with the informant and get a description of the suspect. Instead, they were handed a very useful document. A staffer recalled the thief had visited the store earlier to seek employment and had given them his curriculum vitae. Police went to the address listed on the CV and charged the teenager with shoplifting.

August 18

A woman went to Cecil Plains police on the Darling Downs to report her mobile phone had been stolen the night before. She had left it on her dining room table when a 34-year-old man known to her visited. When he left, she realised her phone was missing. When police visited the man's address, he denied knowing anything about the missing phone. Police then rang the number and heard the woman's phone ringing in the man's bedroom. He gave the phone to police and was given a notice to appear in the Dalby Magistrates Court .

November 5

Two men who allegedly robbed a hotel at Gladstone, 100km southeast of Rockhampton, at knife point did so without the benefit of a getaway car. They were forced to hitchhike away from the scene and were about 30km from Rockhampton when they used a $50 note as bait to flag down a silver Toyota sedan. The vehicle pulled over and the men got in only to find they had been picked up by two plainclothes detectives. One man and one juvenile were charged with robbery while armed and will appear for sentencing on April 1.

For the New Year,  I am going to grant myself sainthood - Saint Flamingo Dancer the Wonderful - and throw a bit of fabulosity about the world. I will also sell indulgences for financial gain (mine). Stay tuned for price lists.

Foxglove Purpurea

foxglove curves like a spine

vulpine floribunda

purple cups

look nothing like fox gloves

that little bit of dark fur

on the paws

only looks like a back bone

with fluted vertebrae

digitalis in the nectar

every part a poison

I keep it away from my daughter

so tall, it tops the fence

and waves in the wind

paralyzing beauty

she reaches out a hand

to touch the purple

that she can't reach

drawn to taboo

look! two have joined

spines entwined

rapture

stem to stem

Lucy Simpson, Seattle, 2009

the serpents in her hair

I am her audience in this hour

of dim day – sun's daily death

singing bones of winter elms

I have waited for her birch fingers

to unclasp her taciturn bun

for her auburn currents to fall

loose with red tinder fish

swimming the light of day’s low tide

where she sits brush clutched in hand

torturing her scalp with one hundred strokes

till her hair shines voltaic

till I hear hissing from her head

She gathers in the coils

and wraps them tight

snapping the lock of the clip

For one half hour

she and I were free

Lucy Simpson, 12./2009, Seattle

Someone may have awoken in the early dark hours of Christmas Day feeling somewhat ill. Sadly it was not from any excess of Christmas Eve festivities, though we had eaten brandy soaked chocolate cherry cake for dessert and downed several cocktails.No, the hostess with the very mostess went down with boring old diverticulitis, so the mission for the day was not to let anoyone else know. I battled through lunch anvd the afternoon. I even allowed Neice aged 4 1/2 to paint my fingernails and toenails with nail polish. I am a fantastic great aunt, naturally.

I got to about 6pm and everyone had drinkies and I set The Boy to carving more ham for a dinner when I found a quiet corner on the floor and fell asleep. At this stage I had confided to Daughter2 that I was ill and instructed her to remove my nail polish should I die in the night, as I would prefer not to go into eternity attired so.

About 2 hours later apparently I was still asleep and Daughter2 was making noises about me being really tired to cover for me, when someone joked that "maybe she dead!" Ha Ha Ha.

This is when Daughter2's FD genes  showed to their best. D2, knowing that I was actually sick, thought "what if she really is dead? What if we are one of those horrible famillies who joke about someone dying on Christmas Day and they really are lying there dead? Will we be all over the papers tomorrow morning? Should I go and check? No, I don't want to go near dead people." So, she just went on enjoyng the evening! I could have actually died and no one, not even the fruit of my own womb, would have cared. Revenge will be sweet.

I did rise from the dead, with everyone joking about how they thought I might be dead. I remember muttering a reply along the lines "did anyone attempt the kiss of life on me, or draw a moustache on my face?  Ha Ha Ha" , and wandered off to bed, letting Daughter1 into "the secret" wth instructions to play the game wth D2.

The flaw in my plan was telling MR FD when he came to bed, for first thing in the morning he walks downstairs and announces in his best town cryer voice that anyone in a 5 street radius would have heard the "FD is ill!"

Well in the blink of an eye, my mother and sister, who had stayed overnight, were racng each other up the stairs and at my bedside. Mother started her hand ringing routine "oh it's so unfair" and Sister her "I'll spring clean your bedroom and organise your closet into the colours of the colour spectrum" and both being so utterly annoyng that I gave into the pain and wished for instant death. They left several long hours later...Merry Christmas.

Daughter 2 went for a long walk on Boxing Day and a man was opening his car to put his two bulldogs into the back, when they saw D2 and raced across the street to greet her. The man called the dogs back and they went back to the car, but as he was putting one into the car, the other dog raced back to D2. He called out to her "Pick him up!" D2 is however not comfortable around dogs and so she replied to him" I am not very good with dogs" and so in a panic tiptoed daintly across the street saying "here doggie, doggie" in the hope that the dog would follow her. Luckly it did. D2 is always having weird things interactions with the general public. 

Yesterday Mr FD, Son and D2 went to do their duty with Mr FD's parents. Apparently Grandpa was in the toilet a long time and D2 told me later that she was a little concerned that he might have died in there "but as you know, I don't check dead people!" so she went and sat down again! Compasson is a big thing in our family, obviously!

Son arrived home and told me that Uncle Adulterer  and Cousin Dropkick, had done us a great favour because Grandpa hates Uncle so much, and has such a low opinion of cousin that "we look like the prodigal family in comparison"

Don't you love Christmas? 

Something new to say about Christmas-New Year as we reach the end of the first, and very warm, decade of the 21st century? Don't want much do you? Thousands of writers, tens of thousands, have laboured every year for the thousands of years we have marked the celebration of mid-winter (and hope for Spring - in the northern hemisphere of course, but that's another story down under) and the artificial end of one journey around the Sun by the Earth and the start of another one.

Did you see the story about the young fellow in a four wheel drive whose vehicle had somehow stuck in cruise control and careered down the road, pushing brakes, banging gear stick, until, oops, here comes the end of the Freeway? Always been suspicious of cruise control, if cars were meant to have cruise control we wouldn't have right feet, would we? Anyway, reminded me of those two pilots, plane on auto-pilot, who overshot their destination the other day by a few hundred kilometres, and had to turn around and come back. With red faces, one imagines.

Can be a bit like that as we cruise along on auto pilot through the year, doing things we used to do, drifting along, September, November, and then oops, here comes Christmas, where did the year go? Always reminded, at this time of the year, of the old photos you see of long ago Christmas and New Year's Eve celebrations. There they are, the young folks of 31 December, 1913, silly hats on heads, champagne glasses in hand, wishing each other a happy 1914.

Never know what a new year is going to bring, so best to try not to run through the old one on cruise control. Stop occasionally, not so much to smell the roses (though that's not a bad start), as to bang on the gear stick, stamp on the brake, try to shake yourself up, dust yourself down, start all over again. Pay attention to the passing parade, do things that are new, different, learn new skills, read new authors, make new friends, try a new job, a new house, a new town, perhaps.

We only had one go at 2009, and now, whammo, flash of an eye, into the pages of history, the party snaps stuck in the pages of the photo album. Remember when, you might say, when you look back at them in 2020 or 2030, red-faced at having not done what you meant to do since.

So get ready for 2010 without an auto-pilot. Cruise control off. Eyes on the road ahead, Route 66 perhaps. Choose a destination. And maybe a couple of detours.

There, how did I do?

All David Horton's writing is on The Watermelon Blog.

playing dead

Dances With Snow

They were purposefully trying to knock snow out of the trees onto themselves.  You would think these guys came from Arizona or something.  I also see this one never fully growing up. Hail Peter Pan???

Ninja boy in snow

Then this one has looked ninja like all weekend while outside.  Indoors he decided he wanted to be blond.

Blondy boy

Then here is my scenic picture of the week...

Mill creek in winter